changes BIG and small.

So once again I find myself wondering how to say what I'd like to.  As I talked about when I was reviewing our last year, I have felt so incredibly overwhelmed with God's goodness, mercy and miracles in my personal life the past year and in this new year.
Most especially having our little miracle baby Lee join our family last year.

Not so little "little" changes.
We found out in December that another miracle baby would be joining our family *mid-July* this year.  It is still hard to believe sometimes.  I remember so distinctly when I was in labor with Lee, wondering if I'd ever have that experience again.   We are SO excited and overwhelmed by the coming miracle.
Through the months of non-stop sickness that accompanied the first 16-ish weeks of this pregnancy I felt so much anxiety about being able to be a good mom to two when I felt like I was failing so miserably with just one.  Once again I found myself (and find sometimes) struggling with guilt because of my fears of inadequacy when the blessing of children is something I waited and longed for.  I again find myself struggling to be fair to myself and the fact that the miracle of pregnancy and child raising is also a tremendous opportunity for personal growth. 
I've had a lot of fears about this baby's health and wellness. (again) I am so grateful for a Heavenly Father that wants us to come to Him (again and again) for peace and guidance and strength.  For me, it's so easy to get into a "if I need help I don't have sufficient faith" mindset.  I know deep down that ultimately God is in charge but sometimes it is so hard to give up the control that comes with worrying about it myself and wanting things my way.

*baby boy*

 
We found out today, most importantly, that this baby is developing healthily thus far AND that Lee is going to have a *baby brother.*
I hope that they are the best of friends, growing up myself directly in-between two boys, having two of the same gender so close together makes me a little nervous since it's unknown territory. (They will be 14 months apart.)
 




Big changes.
We also have been blessed with a job offer from one of Kevin's top company choices for when he finishes his Master's Degree this April.   This job (that we are honestly really excited about) will take us down south to the Houston area in Texas.  Kevin starts the end of May and so we'll be moving just in time to have our baby. 
I'm so excited for Kevin to be done with school and have a "real job" that we both feel so good about but I'm also pretty anxious about moving across the country to a completely new and foreign (to us) place just in time to have a baby. :)
Moving to Colorado for the summer just after we had Lee proved to be very difficult for me which makes me all the more anxious about doing it again this summer and permanently this time.  I know that we'll (I'll) be just fine and I'm confident that we are going to love where we live.  We've felt such good things about the community, city, etc... but I also know that it takes time to feel at home and comfortable in a place. As my cousin and I remarked (often) after moving from an incredible university ward to a much less incredible one..."change is hard!" (of course we ended up making some fantastic friends as the year went on.)
We've been so blessed during our time in Utah, not only to live close to a lot of family but also to have an incredible neighborhood and church community where we are.  We have loved living here and love the people who live here.  We are so sad to say goodbye. :(

Mostly though, I feel SO blessed.
Challenges, I know, will come during times of "drought" and "abundance" because we all desperately need to remember how much we need our Savior's Atonement in our lives, we  really can't do it alone.
I am so grateful that through it all God has set up a plan (with clear guidelines for us to follow) so that we can live "after the manner of happiness*" as Nephi (a prophet from the Book of Mormon) taught.

*2 Nephi 5:27