"our mothers knew it."

I’ve read this particular scripture story countless times; about a group of 2,000 teenage boys that bravely go to fight against their enemies so that their fathers, who promised never to kill again after they came to a belief in Christ, would not have to break that promise.

The thing that really gets me about the story though isn’t the boys bravery or even their unwavering faith in God’s protection, though both are remarkable, it is the fact that when their leader, Helaman, asked them about the source of this unmatched strength and faith they simply reply, “We do not doubt our mothers knew it.”*

Well now I’m the mom of two baby boys, who I know will grow faster than I can possibly imagine right now. And this week I can’t stop wondering, over and over, “What kind of mothers did those boys have exactly?” 

I wonder what I’d see if I were to somehow observe their daily interactions with their children within their homes. How did they show such great faith that their boys were described as men who “…put their trust in God continually”*?

I want to give that to my boys.  I can’t think of anything more empowering than an unwavering faith in God. There are so many things today, in our world, that are frightening, heart wrenching, debased, cowardly and amoral. There are countless influences that will not be concerned about the true wellbeing of my boys. But I am. 

I am.

But what does that mean exactly? I sure pictured myself as a different mom growing up than I am.  It is so much harder than I ever imagined to have daily family prayer and scripture study, to discipline as the Savior might and act out of love and not react out of the frustration of the moment. It is so much more exhausting than I knew day-to-day living could be.

I worry about my sons’ futures and the choices they’ll make.  I worry that I’m not teaching them well enough, how can you know that you’re doing enough?

Can my boys tell how much I love and rely on my Savior? How do I show them, really, that the only way to be happy now and forever is to follow, as exactly as possible, the loving guidelines that God has given us in His commandments from ancient and living prophets? How do you teach them that it really does matter, what we do, say and think, how we live and the little choices we make? How do I teach them what I know?

You may be thinking, “Good gravy Michelle! You are over complicating this, you just keep living and teaching them, every day.” It sure feels less simple than it sounds.   

I know there probably can’t be one fail-proof answer to my questions.  I also know, based on past experience, these are likely the types of questions that may only be answered one day at a time, as experiences pile up and deepen my understanding. But I do hope that somehow, no matter what choices my boys make in the future,they will be able to say without a doubt that their mother “knew it” too. In spite of how weak I feel.  Because I do, and I’m trying to live what I believe today and tomorrow… I hope it rubs off a little.

And I hope your successes rub off on me too, how do you do it? What are your little victories? As much bad as there is in the world, I am constantly surprised and thrilled at how much good I find in the people I get to interact with too.  So thank you.

*Alma 56:48 ,57:27