"our mothers knew it."

I’ve read this particular scripture story countless times; about a group of 2,000 teenage boys that bravely go to fight against their enemies so that their fathers, who promised never to kill again after they came to a belief in Christ, would not have to break that promise.

The thing that really gets me about the story though isn’t the boys bravery or even their unwavering faith in God’s protection, though both are remarkable, it is the fact that when their leader, Helaman, asked them about the source of this unmatched strength and faith they simply reply, “We do not doubt our mothers knew it.”*

Well now I’m the mom of two baby boys, who I know will grow faster than I can possibly imagine right now. And this week I can’t stop wondering, over and over, “What kind of mothers did those boys have exactly?” 

I wonder what I’d see if I were to somehow observe their daily interactions with their children within their homes. How did they show such great faith that their boys were described as men who “…put their trust in God continually”*?

I want to give that to my boys.  I can’t think of anything more empowering than an unwavering faith in God. There are so many things today, in our world, that are frightening, heart wrenching, debased, cowardly and amoral. There are countless influences that will not be concerned about the true wellbeing of my boys. But I am. 

I am.

But what does that mean exactly? I sure pictured myself as a different mom growing up than I am.  It is so much harder than I ever imagined to have daily family prayer and scripture study, to discipline as the Savior might and act out of love and not react out of the frustration of the moment. It is so much more exhausting than I knew day-to-day living could be.

I worry about my sons’ futures and the choices they’ll make.  I worry that I’m not teaching them well enough, how can you know that you’re doing enough?

Can my boys tell how much I love and rely on my Savior? How do I show them, really, that the only way to be happy now and forever is to follow, as exactly as possible, the loving guidelines that God has given us in His commandments from ancient and living prophets? How do you teach them that it really does matter, what we do, say and think, how we live and the little choices we make? How do I teach them what I know?

You may be thinking, “Good gravy Michelle! You are over complicating this, you just keep living and teaching them, every day.” It sure feels less simple than it sounds.   

I know there probably can’t be one fail-proof answer to my questions.  I also know, based on past experience, these are likely the types of questions that may only be answered one day at a time, as experiences pile up and deepen my understanding. But I do hope that somehow, no matter what choices my boys make in the future,they will be able to say without a doubt that their mother “knew it” too. In spite of how weak I feel.  Because I do, and I’m trying to live what I believe today and tomorrow… I hope it rubs off a little.

And I hope your successes rub off on me too, how do you do it? What are your little victories? As much bad as there is in the world, I am constantly surprised and thrilled at how much good I find in the people I get to interact with too.  So thank you.

*Alma 56:48 ,57:27

Agreed. (thought for the day)

"To the youth of the Church rising up to missions and temples and marriage, we say: "Love God and remain clean from the blood and sins of this generation."   You have a monumental work to do, underscored by that marvelous announcement President Thomas S. Monson made yesterday morning.  Your Father in Heaven expects your loyalty and your love at every stage of your life."

-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

*This quote came from a General Conference daily 6 month calendar that my aunt makes for everyone who wants one in my mom's family. It's filled with quotes from the most recent General Conference and lasts until the next conference.  

Anyway.  This quote was for February 28th but my mom held onto it and stuck it on the fridge. (glad she did.)

It made me think of the young women that I work with in my church and the responsibility they have now to be the guardians of their own personal spiritual well-being. There really isn't any in-between time to rely fully on the testimony or good works of someone else.

Of course it also made me think of my own responsibility to follow Christ and serve God, because of my convictions and belief in Their perfect plan for each of us.  

"He Lives In You." Me. Us.

I just returned from a Tanner family reunion with my dad’s family.  I LOVE Tanner gatherings.  With my dad being 1 of 13 children our family is So large that big gatherings only happen once every 2 years.  Someone just figured out at this last reunion that there are now 103 or 106 great-grandchildren with 6 on the way!

As usual after a family get-together I was reminded again how family is really the most important thing in life, and how wonderful it is to have people who care deeply about you.  How evident it is to me that such an important social unit is meant to be FOREVER . 

The theme of this year’s reunion was “He Lives In You” from the Broadway version of The Lion King.  The song is a reminder to Simba that his father never really left him, that what he taught and who he was lives on within him, Simba.   

In reference to the theme, we were remembering and celebrating the fantastic person that my Grandpa, William Coats Tanner Jr. was and is.  What a posterity he has left behind! As we shared stories and reminisced about Grandpa I realized just how true that statement was, He really Does live in all of us Tanners, in one way or another we are so much like him.  And his legacy of Choosing who you want to be and especially Choosing to be Happy has had Eternal impact on each of us in my opinion.  

Check out the song:He Lives In You.

With all this in mind I was re-watching Elder Nelson’s talk in the LDS General Conference from April of this year and one part really stood out to me, probably because of my recent train of thought;

"Under God’s great plan of happiness, families can be sealed in temples and be prepared to return to dwell in His holy presence forever. That is eternal life! It fulfills the deepest longings of the human soul—the natural yearning for endless association with beloved members of one’s family."

-Elder Nelson, “Thanks Be To God”, LDS General Conference, April 2012

And I couldn’t help but think that even more than my Grandpa Tanner we ALL have a Heavenly Father who lives in each of us.  Who wants us to know and follow all the council that He has given us to make sure that we become like Him so that we can Live WITH Him forever.