Recently (aka this week) Lee has become very agitated, he doesn't nap for more than 15 minutes at a time, and he spends a lot of his time tensing his whole little body and angrily grunting. Usually clawing my face or neck in the process. Ex-haust-ing.
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| *Lee this morning.* |
I hate most of all that I don't know how to make him more calm, I have tried every little thing I can dream up and nothing seems to help all that much. Poor boy. The added demands and stress have left me feeling SO on edge, grumpy and blah. Kevin was good to remind me (over and over) last night that my #1 job is to BE Lee's mom and thus, even though I did very little else yesterday, I did the most important thing. I know he's right but it doesn't feel like enough or good, etc... I am having a bit of a time letting go. Today has been much the same, I didn't even bother getting baby Lee dressed today, never thought I'd be one of "those" moms who lets their child hang out in the pj's that they spit their peaches all over that morning, but today I am. I decided to eat lunch before getting to my list of people I needed to contact for some reason or another and of course by the time I'd finished Lee was up from his "nap". One of those days. Kevin urged me to get out of the house, at least long enough to walk down the street to where our mailbox is with Lee so I did. It was my first time putting Lee directly into the stroller instead of his carseat first and...he got stuck. I could not for the life of me get the buckles to come out. One of those days. And deep down I know it's okay. But the deep down is having trouble getting to the surface today. One of those days. My agitation has made me hungry but we haven't been shopping in at least a week. I hate not having salty munchies when I "need" them. One of those days.
AND THEN...
Oh big big hugs! If I have any salty munchies we can find, you are welcome to them! I have plenty of Halloween candy too. :) Motherhood is the hardest thing in the world. And I think you hit it right on the head. It is so hard because we put so much other stuff on us too. And we critique ourselves based on those other things. I haven't had a clean pair of jeans in about a month. I know that I should wash our jeans everyday. But I forget until the night and then I say, well I'll do it tomorrow. It's quite gross and disappointing, but it is what it is. :) I'm so sorry he is having such problems. Have you talked to his ped? I don't think he would just not sleep, he must be having issues. Not knowing what to do and how to help is the worst. Let me know if there is anything I can do, even if it's letting him hang out here for an hour while you get something done. Seriously... us mom's gotta help each other out. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteShirley, Thank you friend. :) Sometimes just hearing that other people are having the same "mom" experiences is so helpful. And like we were talking about, in so many ways mothering really is the hardest thing you do.
DeleteOh hard to believe Lee being a grump from those pictures! I guess that is the trick --to celebrate those peaceful/happy moments when they come and let them "calm us down" a bit. The most predictable thing about babies is how unpredictable they are. Love you girl! Hang in there--before you know it your baby "will be all grown up and saving China!"
ReplyDeleteEven when he's being difficult he has his moments Momma, thankfully. And you're right he is a sweet, good natured boy. And you're right, he is growing up so fast.
DeleteI LOVE this post because I think all Moms feel this way somedays. First of all let me say I am down the street and next time you feel like that drop him off for an hour and then come pick him up. When my husband was in school and always gone it was amazing what an hour of alone time could do to make me ready to go for months more! Most of that time I spent that hour at getting the biggest burger and fries I could find then I would walk around Target TRUE STORY! You are amazing and a great Mom!
ReplyDeleteMichelle! Thank you. It's so easy to get caught up in our individual "mom struggles" and forget that there are others going through similar things that can help out or remind us that we're good and human. And you're advice is much needed,I need to just get out more. I hope health finds your house really soon. :(
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