In the course of the discussion we ended up talking a lot about perceived failures, realistic expectations and making real progress. It seemed that many of the women had a hard time knowing how to be more realistic and flexible about their daily expectations and task-lists for themselves while still pushing themselves to grow and progress. Some were all for simplified personal expectations and others felt that being too simplified left them feeling like they weren't striving to become more.
I did a lot of listening during the discussion and thought a lot about where I stand. I am, by nature, a perfectionist and I've often found myself disappointed with what I've accomplished at the end of a day. Yesterday for example, I decided I was going to clean the bathrooms in our apartment and try and do some more cleaning and tidying and I did all that but, I never got Lee dressed and I didn't think of anything for dinner, nor did I go grocery shopping so we even had enough food in the cupboards to "wing it" and instead of playing with Lee the whole time he was awake during the day, I read a book during quite a bit of the time too. (I get hooked in books So easily)
So, last night I found myself feeling pretty "blah" even though I Had cleaned the bathrooms and swept and mopped and tidied some other things up and I even had some really good play time with Lee. But, I felt like it wasn't enough and that my day had been kind of wasted. "Why can't I be better at focusing on, as one blogger says, the "drops of awesome" I do each day?", I thought to myself.
Well today, as I was reading a talk from the latest General Conference for the LDS church, I was reminded again of the heart of the message from our lesson on Sunday; if we are seeking to do what God wants from us each day, then we can't go wrong with the balance of how much to do or what to spend our time doing.
follow this link to read it now:
("Four Titles", President Dieter F. Uchtdorf)
Highlights for me (from the talk):
^#1 Progression is meant to stretch us.^
"Although we recognize that none of us are perfect, we do not use that fact as an excuse to lower our expectations, to live beneath our privileges, to delay the day of our repentance, or to refuse to grow into better, more perfect, more refined followers of our Master and King."
- What it means to live this way changes daily. Because we are looking to God to know His will (or desire) for how we utilize a given day, what may feel like NOTHING on one day, may be all that He wants (and all that we can muster) on another day.
I remember when I was serving as a full-time missionary for our church I had the hardest time ever feeling like I was giving 100%, there was literally always more I could do and ways to serve better. I got a letter from my best friend, Nicole, who was also serving at the time. She said in the letter something to this effect, "you know what Tanner, sometimes 50% IS 100% for that day. Your best isn't going to be the exact same every day."
^#2 Enjoy the process.^
"Without the Atonement of Jesus Christ, life would be a dead-end road without hope or future. With the Atonement, life is an ennobling, inspiring journey of growth and development that leads to eternal life in the presence of our Heavenly Father."
-Because of Christ's sacrifice for each of us, this process of progression through life is even possible, that perspective can bring us a lot of happiness. It's easy for people like me to get caught up in the details of all that is (or can) go wrong and simply overlook the fact that we even can change everyday. When we are trying, the best we can, to keep our life (and schedule) in line with what God wants, we can and will experience the real peace and happiness that accompanies it, because of our willingness to utilize the sacrifice that Christ has already made for us.
^#3 I am me and always should be.^
"...while the Atonement is meant to help us all become more like Christ, it is not meant to make us all the same. Sometimes we confuse differences in personality with sin."
- I LOVE this, yes, we're all trying to become more like Christ and be better people but that doesn't mean that progression looks the same on everyone. I think that it's, for me at least, all too easy to see the way someone does things and either think that they are doing it (whatever it is) "wrong" or that I am doing it "wrong". Sometimes I think, "how many times will I have to be told not to compare, for good or bad?" Well, a few more most likely.
I love this reminder, God wants us to be different.
Once again, because we are looking to God for His guidance and approval for how we spend our time, we don't have to decide if something is a good idea based on who else is doing it.
I'm a perfectionist but I'm not perfect. I know this type of living and thinking doesn't come overnight. (I wish it would) But, I am grateful that it's possible.
Here's to progression, happy Tuesday.
*clarification: I am not saying that we just "show up", as it were, each morning with a completely blank slate and say "tell me what to do with every second of every day." I believe that God expects us to be aware of things we need and would like to do and seek His help in knowing which should be most important and always be open to the idea of doing something we hadn't thought of that He needs us to do that day. Also, because of our access to God's word through ancient scripture and through our living leaders, we already know some things that should always be considered "top priority".
