day for dads.

Without question, Lee is a Daddy's boy. 
He just really digs his Dad and I love it. 
Lee races for the door when Kevin gets home everyday. 
He loves to be chased around the room and attacked by Kevin.
He rarely snuggles but he WILL snuggle his Dad, especially when he's having a rough night.
He feels pretty down when Kevin leaves the room. (aka he cries...)
If he sees Kevin leave the house, he'll crawl over to the front door and wait for quite a while for him to come back.
If Kevin goes out on the patio to grill, Lee will wait by the sliding door the whole time.

I am so grateful for the essential role of fathers.  There is no question in my mind that a caring, loving father really can't be replaced in the life of their child.

Back when we were first married, before we knew that it'd take us a lot longer than we planned to have children I remember having a conversation with Kevin about children.  He was never opposed but he was nervous about being a father. 

Well, as you know, the infertility roller-coaster ride ensued. One of the blessings of that "ride" was that it left Kevin and me with much greater desires to be parents than we ever could have had without the trial of waiting.  Our unanswered desires definitely came to outweigh our fears.  I'm grateful for that, especially now that we're in the midst of raising a 13 month old and expecting baby Drew in no more than a month. 
And now, more than ever, I'm grateful that Kevin really had nothing to worry about, he is a natural, such a fantastic parent.

Kevin made DELICIOUS mussels to celebrate Father's Day. (crazy I know, him cooking for himself for Father's Day but, he lives for the chance to try something new in the kitchen.) So really, happy Father's Day to US.

after our "feast".

unrealistic expectations and ultimate fails. perfectionism makes balance hard...

On Sunday in Relief Society (or the hour when we meet together just as women from our church congregation) our lesson was about doing God's will in our daily lives.  

In the course of the discussion we ended up talking a lot about perceived failures, realistic expectations and making real progress. It seemed that many of the women had a hard time knowing how to be more realistic and flexible about their daily expectations and task-lists for themselves while still pushing themselves to grow and progress.  Some were all for simplified personal expectations and others felt that being too simplified left them feeling like they weren't striving to become more. 

I did a lot of listening during the discussion and thought a lot about where I stand.  I am, by nature, a perfectionist and I've often found myself disappointed with what I've accomplished at the end of a day.  Yesterday for example,  I decided I was going to clean the bathrooms in our apartment and try and do some more cleaning and tidying and I did all that but, I never got Lee dressed and I didn't think of anything for dinner, nor did I go grocery shopping so we even had enough food in the cupboards to "wing it" and instead of playing with Lee the whole time he was awake during the day, I read a book during quite a bit of the time too.  (I get hooked in books So easily) 

So, last night I found myself feeling pretty "blah" even though I Had cleaned the bathrooms and swept and mopped and tidied some other things up and I even had some really good play time with Lee.  But, I felt like it wasn't enough and that my day had been kind of wasted.  "Why can't I be better at focusing on, as one blogger says, the "drops of awesome" I do each day?", I thought to myself.

Well today, as I was reading a talk from the latest General Conference for the LDS church, I was reminded again of the heart of the message from our lesson on Sunday; if we are seeking to do what God wants from us each day, then we can't go wrong with the balance of how much to do or what to spend our time doing.  
follow this link to read it now:
("Four Titles", President Dieter F. Uchtdorf)

Highlights for me (from the talk):

^#1 Progression is meant to stretch us.^

"Although we recognize that none of us are perfect, we do not use that fact as an excuse to lower our expectations, to live beneath our privileges, to delay the day of our repentance, or to refuse to grow into better, more perfect, more refined followers of our Master and King."

- What it means to live this way changes daily.  Because we are looking to God to know His will (or desire) for how we utilize a given day, what may feel like NOTHING on one day, may be all that He wants (and all that we can muster) on another day.
I remember when I was serving as a full-time missionary for our church I had the hardest time ever feeling like I was giving 100%, there was literally always more I could do and ways to serve better.  I got a letter from my best friend, Nicole, who was also serving at the time.  She said in the letter something to this effect, "you know what Tanner, sometimes 50% IS 100% for that day.  Your best isn't going to be the exact same every day."  

^#2 Enjoy the process.^

 "Without the Atonement of Jesus Christ, life would be a dead-end road without hope or future. With the Atonement, life is an ennobling, inspiring journey of growth and development that leads to eternal life in the presence of our Heavenly Father."

-Because of Christ's sacrifice for each of us, this process of progression through life is even possible, that perspective can bring us a lot of happiness.  It's easy for people like me to get caught up in the details of all that is (or can) go wrong and simply overlook the fact that we even can change everyday.  When we are trying, the best we can, to keep our life (and schedule) in line with what God wants, we can and will experience the real peace and happiness that accompanies it,  because of our willingness to utilize the sacrifice that Christ has already made for us.

^#3 I am me and always should be.^

"...while the Atonement is meant to help us all become more like Christ, it is not meant to make us all the same. Sometimes we confuse differences in personality with sin."

- I LOVE this, yes, we're all trying to become more like Christ and be better people but that doesn't mean that progression looks the same on everyone.  I think that it's, for me at least, all too easy to see the way someone does things and either think that they are doing it (whatever it is) "wrong" or that I am doing it "wrong".  Sometimes I think, "how many times will I have to be told not to compare, for good or bad?" Well, a few more most likely.  
I love this reminder, God wants us to be different. 
Once again, because we are looking to God for His guidance and approval for how we spend our time, we don't have to decide if something is a good idea based on who else is doing it.

I'm a perfectionist but I'm not perfect.  I know this type of living and thinking doesn't come overnight. (I wish it would) But, I am grateful that it's possible.
Here's to progression, happy Tuesday.

*clarification: I am not saying that we just "show up", as it were, each morning with a completely blank slate and say "tell me what to do with every second of every day."  I believe that God expects us to be aware of things we need and would like to do and seek His help in knowing which should be most important and always be open to the idea of doing something we hadn't thought of that He needs us to do that day. Also, because of our access to God's word through ancient scripture and through our living leaders, we already know some things that should always be considered "top priority".

beat the heat.

We have kind of been melting a little bit here in humid and hot Houston.  Other than staying inside with AC and fans (and popsicles) we have been trying to do other things to cool off.  Luckily there are a ton of pools and splash pads in the area.  We finally made time to visit one this last Saturday.

Lee was really hesitant at first.  He wouldn't even touch the water in Kevin's arms.  He did warm up to it a lot though.  By the end he was crawling around to play in the water by himself.  So fun to see him grow up.

Just In Time.

our moving trailer at our house in Spanish Fork.

Driving through Houston after landing.

It already seems like a lifetime since we moved from Spanish Fork (Utah) to Texas.  But in reality it's only been...two and a half weeks... I can't say that our moving experience made me super keen to move again any time soon.  I know part of what made it so crazy was everything else we had going on at the same time; trip to Arches, Kevin's graduation, Lee's birthday, family events, lots of goodbyes, etc... But I found myself seriously wondering if I was going to make it through sometimes.  To spice things up we also seemed to have every step of the process be up in the air until the very last minute; we got the ok from the landlord here at our furnished apartment AFTER Kevin was on his way to Texas, just in time.  I was cleared to leave by my OB/GYN a few days before my scheduled flight, just in time.  All in all it was a really crazy, emotional time.  It was really hard to leave, not only were our two years in Utah most likely the only time we'll live close to most of our family and lots of close friends, but we really loved our ward family (church congregation) too and it was hard to leave them as well. I didn't even get to "goodbyes" with some of my closest friends.

*sidenote: I worked in the YW Presidency and I can't get it out of my bones, the youth in our new ward did a musical number during church last Sunday and I had to remind myself that I wasn't working with them. (maybe I'll get a chance to someday soon.)

I fight anxiety and pessimism and, of course, a cross country move, new job, house hunt and a new baby on the way all at once in a new and completely foreign place gave me lots of things to want to feel anxious about.  I can say that though I've had and have my very anxious and stressed moments I have felt such overall peace come as I've daily turned to the Lord in prayer and scripture study.  More peace than I could ever hope to have on my own.

One of the most anxious things for me since we got here has been looking for a house.  So many factors to consider, things you can only guess about, AND a seller's market. Literally just in the weeks leading up to us coming, I noticed that houses for sale in the area, in our price range, that we liked, would be available for sale for one day at the most.  Well that has continued to be true.  Of the 4 houses we liked well enough to put an offer on or try to put an offer on, each seller received multiple offers within the first 24 hours of putting it on the market.  What an emotional roller coaster; like a house well enough to be willing to buy it just to find that we're never going to be able to compete with a cash offer or an offer 2 hours after it's listed without the buyers even seeing the house first. Most of the time there just wasn't anything worth seeing available.
We of course, really wanted to have an accepted offer in on a house Before Kevin started working if at all possible since otherwise, in this market, not only would I need to see a house "we" liked alone, but I'd have to put an offer in on it before he'd even be able to see it after work.  Well, as per standard for this moving adventure, we saw a house we really liked (REALLY liked) come up online on  the Sunday before Kevin started work, we decided to see it first thing Monday morning (holiday) and when we saw it, we loved it.  Well, by the time we got an offer in, we found out that two other offers were also made and that the sellers would let us know their decision by noon the next day. We adjusted our offer a bit, considering the competition, but again we're really not in a spot where we can be very competitive. I thought for sure we had no chance. I didn't doubt that we'd get into a house in the area we were supposed to be but I did doubt that a house we liked in an area we loved would be that house, something I continue to struggle with, believing that God wants to bless ME with miracles.
I went to bed so frustrated with myself for my faithlessness, "how could I be this doubting?" I kept thinking, we have a huge miracle sleeping in the other room and another that is about to join our family.  WAY bigger miracles than getting a house.  As I was expressing my frustrations in prayer I had the feeling that I needed to believe that God could/would bless me with this miracle when it was right. 
Well Tuesday morning, to my complete shock, we got a call from our realtor telling us that they'd accepted our offer.  So, just in time, if all goes well, we will be first-time home owners at the end of June. (just in time for baby Drew to join us.)

Parts of this talk from the latest General Conference from our church have been so timely for me.
Here's one of my favorite quotes;

"Brothers and sisters, do we really think the critical factor in the salvation of our children is the neighborhood where we live? The apostles and prophets have often taught that what happens inside the home is far more important than what our children encounter outside. How we raise our children is more important than where we raise them."

-Elder Stanley G. Ellis


Beginning to love it here;
We feel so good about being here and, because of the distance from family,  having a chance to establish ourselves as our own family unit.  The independence and freedom that results from living far away from family has already been really good for us.  We're excited to be able to make our own family traditions and schedules. (though this doesn't keep us from missing family quite a lot sometimes...we're so grateful for technology that makes "seeing" family and keeping in touch so manageable.)

greenbelt by our apartment.

park in the part of town we'll ^^hopefully^^ be living in.

Overall, we are LOVING it here. (In spite of the challenges that have come with the move.)  We love The Woodlands.  It is one of the most beautiful places I've lived. (And hottest, one of the hottest for sure. Not used to the intense humidity yet.)

Things that have made us love it;
*In spite of the humidity we've been trying to go for walks out on the greenbelts or at one of the (literally) hundreds of parks here in the city.  It is such a change from the mountain and dessert landscape of Utah I'm accustomed to.
*As always, it's really good for the soul to get out and about in nature for at least a little while every day.

At a pond our first day here.

Evening greenbelt walk.

*Getting to know a place with a different climate is really fun.  I can't believe how different it feels to live in the middle of a forest.  We always hear birds chirping and see them in the parks, at the ponds and on the greenbelt trails.  It also makes for a whole new adventure trying to get my bearings here.  There are no landmarks, only trees, you can't see anything from the road except trees, even store signs and street signs are right off the ground. (thank goodness for GPS)
I'm sure it will all become so commonplace that I won't think about it eventually but for now I'm enjoying the newness of it.

The apartment complex we're staying in.

Driving down the road.

Parking lot.

* We have loved being able to spend our free time taking Lee to playgrounds and parks. He loves being out and playing with us.

swinging.

Slide with Dad.

* We are trying to find humor in all the things that have come with living in a different place and being in a transitory state until we move into a house. Like Lee's constant sweaty status.  He is a champion about it, but he almost always looks like he just got out of the bath. Getting lost consistently. And the "classy" furnishings in this furnished apartment.

matted, sweaty head.

shower curtain rings.

* In spite of the stress of house hunting it Has been fun to see lots of different houses and think of putting down roots in a more permanent way than we've ever known.

Lee in a model home.

* Time with friends has also been SO good for us.  We have a friend from our mission that works as a Geologist for the same company as Kevin and having a few dinners with them and getting to know them better has been a great outlet for us. We've also been able to see Kevin's best friend from his undergrad in Rexburg. (who is interning for the summer in Houston)

ice cream mustache on Memorial Day.

yum.

 

* Being able to try new foods and see some family has been a blast.  Kevin's cousin and his family are in Fort Worth while he goes to med school and they happened to be in the area this weekend, it was so fun to see them. The food and atmosphere at Snookie's Fish Camp and Grill was awesome too.  We had the most attentive and kind server I've ever had, true Southern hospitality.  (and we loved the greasy food, even though our stomachs didn't quite as much) The deep-fried cornbread balls, known as "hush puppies", served with spicy nacho cheese sauce were surprisingly delicious. And I loved the fried catfish, which I did NOT expect.

Cousin Dan, baby Mason, baby Lee, Kevin.

All of us outside the restaurant.

grilled catfish=delicious!

all you can eat appetizers on the house.

blackened, grilled tilapia and onion rings.

Lee totally soaked himself at the splash pad across the street from the restaurant.