our choice.

As I've alluded to earlier, I'm really working at finding inner peace about how my day to day time is filled and used.  It's hard, admittedly, to do all that I want to for myself and others.  I find that my "natural" tendency is to feel failure if even One thing from my "list" is left undone at the end of the day.
I've thought a lot about how to figure out not only what types of goals I should make personally, but also what the quantity and intensity should be.  I am a *box-checker* by nature and thus a day filled with bathes and diaper changes and stories read, dishes and laundry done and tidying can feel unproductive.  I know that it shouldn't, but if I'm being honest with myself, it does.  I don't naturally feel accomplished or productive if I haven't done quite a bit more than that.  I find myself having ongoing dialogues with myself, trying to convince myself to feel good about what I've been able to do or conversely telling myself that if I would only get up earlier, be more determined, etc... I could really be doing so much more.   I think that somewhere in the middle is probably the safe, healthy place we should all hope to find ourselves in but for me that's easier said than done.

Well today, with these kind of thoughts in mind, I was reading material from the Mia Maid lesson I'm preparing for my class on Sunday and this statement from President Packer hit me and continues to roll around in my head and heart as a piece of truth I needed to hear today;

"Remember, young people, (I'd insert 'all people', though I consider myself quite the youngster still...)I want each of you to remember that this is your Church, and He is your Lord and your Savior who stands at the helm. His constant guidance and inspiration are available to you when you keep your mind filled to overflowing with the good, the beautiful, the inspiring."

This message from President Packer reminded me that I'm not facing my personal challenges and struggles alone, that I'm not part of someone else's organization as a bystander, that I'm not a numberless observer of someone else's life progress.  The Savior in His perfect and infinite goodness, gave me a personal invitation to do with the truth and His Salvation what I will. I choose to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints because I want to, Christ is my Savior, my eldest brother, my Lord and that means that I have access to His help with my struggles and desires.  He wants to help me find a righteous balance in my life, in spite of all the changes that will surely keep coming, or as I wait for certain changes and blessing. With His help, my mind can be "filled to overflowing" with wonderfulness instead of negativity. I can do my best, try a little harder each day, invite goodness into my life and enjoy my journey through new motherhood and whatever follows because Christ atoned for me, my sins and weaknesses.  It's my choice to be alone, or not. And I think that that is *good, beautiful, and inspiring*.

Happy Monday.

*In this talk President Packer speaks extensively on the power of good (or bad) music in our lives, I feel strongly enough about music to fill several addition posts...but please, check it out, here.